oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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