im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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