I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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