yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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