Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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