just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
