My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
