didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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