i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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