he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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