Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
