Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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