Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
