Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
