I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
