soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
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The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
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I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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