my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
