So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize