Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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