Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
