i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize