so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
