i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Life without a bra equals bliss.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
