What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
