I can't breathe out the right side of my face
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
