If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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