Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize