Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize