Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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