It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.