Texts From Last Night

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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson

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  (570): I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson http://tfl.nu/24on
  Replies (72) Good night (1301) Bad night (3751)
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  (831): View more from California

  I puked off the balcony.

  (1-831): View more from California

  Not horrible

  (831): View more from California

  Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.

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  (831): I puked off the balcony. (1-831): Not horrible (831): Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza. http://tfl.nu/7wv6
  Replies (11) Good night (2445) Bad night (9091)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?

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  (201): If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box? http://tfl.nu/nvmk
  Replies (61) Good night (14733) Bad night (1212)
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  (585): View more from New York

  well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me

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  (585): well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me http://tfl.nu/wu1p
  Replies (28) Good night (1175) Bad night (3749)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him

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  (612): I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him http://tfl.nu/slwx
  Replies (12) Good night (4155) Bad night (1667)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?

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  (575): So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation? http://tfl.nu/oofw
  Replies (17) Good night (5820) Bad night (1001)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.

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  (208): I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism. http://tfl.nu/ixxa
  Replies (15) Good night (2489) Bad night (1021)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.

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  (401): anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches. http://tfl.nu/n5i2
  Replies (17) Good night (4874) Bad night (778)
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  (530): View more from California

  I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?

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  (530): I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster? http://tfl.nu/nheu
  Replies (34) Good night (663) Bad night (4155)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.

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  (740): Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake. http://tfl.nu/l7w3
  Replies (6) Good night (766) Bad night (1719)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.

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  (409): I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it. http://tfl.nu/vd4l
  Replies (4) Good night (670) Bad night (405)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal

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  (201): It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal http://tfl.nu/8mo5
  Replies (2) Good night (829) Bad night (297)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know

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  (410): I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know http://tfl.nu/wl8q
  Replies (3) Good night (548) Bad night (264)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.

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  (865): Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night. http://tfl.nu/toib
  Replies (0) Good night (376) Bad night (547)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES

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  (678): Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES http://tfl.nu/manh
  Replies (7) Good night (714) Bad night (157)

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