If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
