i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Non-Jews are for practice
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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