For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Randomize
