Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just had sex on a roof
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
