I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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