i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I want a musical about memes.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
