Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Randomize
