bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
