he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
My vagina just recognized that song.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
