Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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