hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
