so that wasnt chicken after all
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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