i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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