OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
