I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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