did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
even my farts smell like vagina
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
