so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
