There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
