shes about as inviting as chlamydia
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I wish you could order shots online.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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