I met the friendliest cop last night
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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