new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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