my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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