Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Just cropdusted the office
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
So squirting runs in the family.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
