For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I see more hoeing in ur future
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