come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
