dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
