At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize