You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
