oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
