somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
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