it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
