Umm I'm too high to move.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Randomize
