Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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