i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
