So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
