My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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