where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize