If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
