He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Randomize
