I puked a lego.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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