I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
