Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
