i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
