Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
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you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
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I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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