Are we in a gay sports bar?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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